The Journey Begins

The idea for this blog came from, of all things…a hairbrush. Now that I am fully into my fifties, finding a white hair in my morning routine is pretty common. I’ve gotten to the place where I don’t bother pulling them out or I’d be pretty bald! But one day I found a hair that was white–and the root was black. It seemed a little strange to me.  I always thought once your hair follicle goes white, that’s about it–it will always be the salt in the pepper. Then I found another–and another–and for some reason a random verse sprang to mind: “He will restore what the locust has eaten.”

I didn’t know where that verse came from–had to use my trusty Bible reference Google Search to actually find out where it came from. I found it in a book that I tended to overlook, a minor prophet that I will often forget–in the book of Joel.

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
    the great locust and the young locust,
    the other locusts and the locust swarm^[b]—
my great army that I sent among you.
²⁶ You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
    and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
    who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.
²⁷ Then you will know that I am in Israel,
    that I am the Lord your God,
    and that there is no other;
never again will my people be shamed.” Joel 2:25-27

It was an image I needed–perimenopausal, single, and wondering if I had missed what God wanted me to do with my life. I  wondered if, when I was working so hard to climb the ladder I thought God placed in front of me, I would look up only to find that it was totally on the wrong house. If I really was doing what God intended, I thought, I wouldn’t feel quite so much like a vagabond. I thought that if I was doing the “right thing”, I would be so passionate and directed and fueled by my knowledge of purpose that I wouldn’t have to worry what others thought of me. The absolute confidence that I was doing what I was intended to do would be enough.

But as I turned 50 I wasn’t so sure. I used to joke that I was in a good place because if I was ever in danger of feeling too proud of myself my job would put me down enough to keep me humble. As much as I hated to admit it, even as I wanted to say that recognition and honor wasn’t important to me, it was hard to see friends, classmates get well-deserved recognition from their workplaces. I couldn’t even get my manager to have IT fix my browser.

A few years ago the singer Jason Gray has a song that resonated with me: “Nothing is wasted”. (check out his video here: I think it’s worth the extra click! Jason Gray: Nothing Is Wasted) And as I walked through what felt like the rubble of my life, I had the feeling that God could find a use and purpose for me, even though it felt like I had been left in the corner, overlooked and forgotten.

For those of you who feel left in the corner wondering what the point is, perhaps I am writing for you as much as for me. Just when I felt like something discarded and left buried in the dust bunnies of life, I remembered the parable of the woman and her lost coin: “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins^[a] and loses one. Doesn’t she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? ⁹ And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.’ Luke 15:8-9

For those that might, like me, be afraid God forgot about us and we were left in the dust, lost in hairballs and debris, this blog is for you, too. It will not always be pretty, but I hope it will be a way to share what is on my heart, as I struggle to understand my lostness and to believe in God’s goodness. While I may not know all the time and effort God puts into searching and finding us, I have become increasingly convinced that God sees me-and you as worth searching for. From an overlooked book, by an overlooked minor prophet, and a random hair in a hairbrush, I am learning. He is able to restore the years that the locust has stolen. Come and walk with me.